


saudade (or: five times lucy lane doesn't follow alex danvers, and one time she does)

by nirav



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-21 22:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11954301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nirav/pseuds/nirav
Summary: Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ], Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadi] or [sawˈdadʒi], Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades)[1] a melancholy nostalgia for something that perhaps has not even happened





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote 85% of this on the eurostar last week because i've been listening to way too much metric for the last month

 

_i'm rolling in for a seven day weekend_  
_living up again to my old reputation_  
_can you cover me cos i got no armor_  
_keep on moving down the line_  
_keep on going further_

* * *

 

_i._

Alex hasn’t been on a motorcycle in months-- hers has been sitting in the parking garage, under a cover and gathering dust, an irritating testament to how overwhelmed she’s been since the lines blurred between _Kara_ and _Supergirl_ \-- but Lucy tosses her the keys to the KTM without even questioning if Alex knows how to ride.  J’onn already has a helmet on, keeping his distance from Alex, as if he knows she needs space still to process _your father is still alive_ and the part where Lucy Lane just broke them out of a prison transport.

She’s already parsed through the whole situation enough to accept the keys and jacket and helmet Lucy offered her, to tell Kara what they’re off to do, but it’s not enough.  There won’t ever be enough time or space for her to actually understand what’s happening.

“I’ll try to bring it back in one piece,” Alex says, mouth crooked and shoulders shifting under the uncertainty of how to speak to Lucy.  Lucy, who picked apart her lies in moments, who gave her over to a man ready to send her to be a science experiment, who broke her out against orders and put her entire career on the line for a stranger.

One of Lucy’s shoulders lifts in a shrug.  The dim streetlights glance off one sweaty shoulder, and Alex breathes uncomfortably under the unreadable mask that is Lucy Lane.

“It’s not mine anyways,” Lucy says.  One side of her mouth hitches up and her shoulder follows suit.  “A buddy of mine owed me a favor.”

“You’re full of surprises,” Alex murmurs. She zips the jackets up and shakes her arms into it, cracking her neck and wincing when her still-healing arm protests.   The jacket is tight over her shoulders and binds her ribcage almost painfully.  It’s grounding, the external pressure on her ribs vying for attention with the ache pulsing in her chest.  “One day you’ll have to tell me about that.”

“One day,” Lucy says, hands on her hips.  She’s different, here, her face patterned in flickering shadows and skin all but glowing with sweat from the prison break; there’s no uniform for her to stand straight under, no commanding tilt to her chin or set to her jaw.  She steps in closer and holds out a hand for Alex to shake.  “Maybe over a drink.”

Alex hesitates, her hand already in Lucy’s, and recovers a split second later than she would have preferred.  Lucy’s grip is strong and her palm calloused-- not that Alex necessarily expected anything less-- and lingers longer than it needs to.  It’s enough, for a moment, just a moment, to drive away _your father is still alive_ and the treason they’re committing because the streetlights are highlighting the sharp ridges of Lucy’s collarbones and the lean lines of muscle that travel neatly from her arms and up across her shoulders, up the sides of her neck and into the definitive curve of her jaw and the tilt of one eyebrow, and Lucy’s eyes are clear and bright and in no uncertain terms focused on Alex’s mouth.

Alex coughs, useless and dry, licking at her lips once and twice and then once more, trying to find some relief from the effect Lucy’s determined gaze has on her.

Lucy pulls her hand free, slowly, smoothly, fingers sliding soft along Alex’s palm, and folds her arms over her chest with a smirk.

“You know, you could have just asked me to a drink _before_ interrogating me,” Alex manages to say, plenty pleased with her ability to form something resembling a full sentence.

“What can I say?” Lucy says, smirk fading for a moment.  “Timing was never my strong suit.”  Her fingers flex on her arms once, and then again, before she steps forward abruptly to hug Alex.  It’s short, clinical, and she’s moved back out of arm’s reach before Alex can even get her arms up.

“Take care of Kara?” Alex says after a long moment.

“Of course,” Lucy says, soft and sure, and Alex sucks in a sharp breath and nods and turns away to find Kara and say her goodbyes.

* * *

 

_ii._

The human race is falling apart, ripped to pieces person by person by Myriad and Non and unbearable stabbing pains to the skull.  Alex’s hands are shaking, the muscles in her legs cramping somewhere in the distance at the effort of staying upright long enough to speak to Kara, but even the Myriad pain slides away because Kara said goodbye and is leaving forever and Alex is about to lose the most important person in her life _again_.

Kara’s an alien, but she still needs air to breathe, gravity to master, a planet to survive.  This will save everyone except for her, and Alex is stuck hundreds of miles away with nothing but a weak human body splintering under the Myriad signal.

Her legs give out and and Alex slides down to the floor, a choked sob-- the first real cry, the first real noise at all that she’s made since this started-- wrenching out of her.  The DEO is full of people, _her_ people, people she’s gone to lunch with and trained with and trusted, on the floor dying, and her sister is going to sacrifice herself, and there’s nothing she can do.

Across the command center, General Lane’s head is slammed back against the side of a desk, veins in his neck pushing through the skin, one hand digging into his own leg through BDUs and the other holding tight to Lucy, whose eyes are open and red-rimmed, her hands shaking and spine curving in on itself.

Alex pulls her eyes away, unwilling to witness someone as good as Lucy Lane dying because they couldn't stop Myriad; it’s only then that her gaze falls on the empty spot behind Lucy where Kara’s pod sits.

It can’t work.  Alex has never flown an aircraft before in her life, much less an alien one.  Kara only has minutes at best.  It’ll never work.

She pulls herself up to her feet, vision blurring and hands shaking and legs barely enough to keep her upright, much less propel her in any direction, but she manages a step, and then another, and another.

She’s only three steps from the pod when a hand-- sharp, shaking, almost claw-like-- grabs her elbow.  It’s Lucy, nearly doubled over, nose bleeding and skin whiter than Alex could have ever imagined.

“You can’t,” Lucy manages to say, hand still vice-like on Alex’s arm.  “It’s calibrated for a Kryptonian--the re-entry could kill you--”

“I have to try.”  Alex grabs for Lucy’s wrist with her own unsteady hand.  Lucy’s skin is as clammy as the palm of Alex’s hand, pulse thundering through the inside of her wrist, and a new nausea rips at Alex’s stomach.  “When I get back you can buy me that drink.”

It’s almost enough to get something of a smile out of Lucy, and her free hand reaches for Alex, hesitating, fingers curling halfway between them before dropping.

“Go,” she says.  “Go.”

Alex hesitates for only the shortest of seconds before yanking free and diving into the pod.  It takes precious longer seconds to get it working and by the time she has, Lucy’s stumbled over to the bay doors and they’re opening, blue sky flashing into the dim industrial bunker.

The pod streaks out of the bunker, careening into the sky and slamming Alex’s head back against the seat, leaving Lucy behind.

* * *

 

_iii._

The world is still in disarray and there’s an unconscious man in the medical bay, alive but dead to the world after crashing through the atmosphere in a pod just like Kara’s, but Kara is up and about, J’onn is in DC to meet with the president, and Alex, for the first time in weeks, has a day off.

She’s at the office anyways, but she doesn’t _have_ to be, so she shrugs off the eyerolls her coworkers offer her and set to cleaning up her lab.

A quiet hour passes, and she’s managed to clear out the worst of the mess and set up something of a passable workspace.  Another hour, and she’s got her equipment back up and running, whirring quietly in the background around the blood samples she’s taken from the man in the medical bay.  She has to be home soon for dinner with Kara and her mother, and her stomach growls at the thought.

“Hey,” sounds from the door, and Alex cranes her head around from the microscope.  Lucy’s leaning in the doorway, hands in her pockets.  There’s a bandage peeking out of the loose neckline of her shirt, the only visible remnant of Myriad and the way it had made her try to kill Kara, a stark white square a little too small to cover the dark edges of bruising reaching out from under the tape.  

“Hey,” Alex echoes, spinning around on her stool.  Lucy had left not long after Kara had woken up, slipping away during the celebration, and hadn’t come with James to dinner at Kara’s later.  “We missed you at dinner the other day.”

“Sounds like there was plenty going on anyways,” Lucy says with a shrug.  “Mysterious aliens and whatnot.”

“Just another day in the office.”  Alex adjusts a strap on the splint on her arm, fiddling momentarily.  “How are you?”

“Minus one murder-headache, so I’d say pretty good,” Lucy says.  Something of a smile pulls at the corner of her mouth, brief and small, until Alex’s stomach grumbles audibly and it grows into a full-on grin at Alex clearing her throat loudly.

“I’m having dinner with Mom and Kara in a bit,” Alex says by way of explanation.  She shuts down her laptop and shoves a collection of printouts into her bag.  “You want to come along?”

Lucy’s grin fades back into something smaller and subtler, and Alex’s shoulders slump the tiniest bit.

“I’m actually headed to DC.”  Lucy looks down at her shoes for am oment.  “I just wanted to swing by first.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Duty calls,” Lucy says, shrugging again.  “In the voice of my father, issuing orders to return to DC immediately.”

Alex rolls her eyes, unable to stop herself, and Lucy laughs softly, smiling enough to show her teeth.

“For how long?  Are you coming back to the DEO?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy says, tiptoeing through her answer and focusing somewhere past Alex’s left ear.  “J’onn is obviously back in charge, as he should be, so there isn’t a need for me here.”

“Of course there is,” Alex says.  She leans after the words sharply, her teeth clacking shut around the unexpected comment, and one of Lucy’s eyebrows arches up.  Alex clears her throat and sets her jaw and refuses to look away, busying herself instead with zipping up her bag and hoisting it on one shoulder, checking the equipment, making her way to the door.  “The DEO could use someone with your expertise.”

“I’ll pass the information along to the powers that be,” Lucy says.  She straightens up from her spot against the doorway and looks down at her feet for a moment before crossing the room and holding a hand out.  “It’s been a pleasure, Doctor Danvers.”

Alex groans even as she takes Lucy’s hand.  “You know, only my mother actually calls me that.”

“Maybe more people should,” Lucy says, still clasping Alex’s hand.  “Given that you _do_ have more degrees than most of the DEO combined.”  Alex clears her throat and looks off to the side, not letting go of Lucy’s hand regardless.  

The handshake lingers several beats too long to be anything resembling reasonable, until Lucy’s phone beeps insistently from her jacket pocket.  Lucy steps back and Alex can’t do much but clear her throat again and lean back against her desk.  “That’s my car.”

“And here I was, about to ask if you wanted a ride to the airport,” Alex says.  Her fingers twitch around the strap of her backpack.  She jerks her head towards the stairs to the parking garage.  

“Take care of yourself,” Lucy says softly.  She hoists a duffel bag up onto one shoulder.  It’s too utilitarian and plain, too functional, against the loose silk of her top, the carefully torn denim of her jeans, the decidedly un-military cut of her jacket or stiletto heels on her shoes.

Alex pauses for a moment, fingers tight on her backpack.  “Have a safe flight,” she offers, nodding once and striding away.  She looks back after ten steps to see Lucy walking in the opposite direction.  The points her heels clack sharply against the floor, the sound lingering long after Lucy’s disappeared from view.

* * *

 

_iv._

It’s late, later than Alex really wants to be out, but between Kara disappearing to other universes and then all of them bouncing through portals to other planets, she’s behind on both paperwork and sister nights with Kara, so she trudges up the stairs to Kara’s apartment, pizza in hand, at ten to midnight.

The sound of indecipherable raised voices coming through Kara’s heavy door cuts through her fatigue, and Alex snaps to attention, discarding the pizza and keeping a hand on her weapon.  She slides the door open silently, ready to draw her gun, only to see Kara and Lucy standing on opposite sides of the kitchen island, glaring at each other.

“What--”

Lucy whirls around to glare at her as well, and Alex recoils enough to bump into the doorjamb behind her.

“And _you_!  Do you have any idea how much shit I have to clean up because of you two?”

“Lucy’s here,” Kara mutters helpfully, slumping down onto a barstool.

“I can see that,” Alex says slowly.  She retrieves the pizza and shuts the door behind her.  “You staying for pizza?  Because we’ll have to order another one.”

“Don’t deflect,” Lucy snaps, arms folded too tight over her chest, fingers going white around her own arms.  

“It’s not deflecting if I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alex says with a shrug.  “Can I at least eat while you yell at me?  I’m starving.”

“Christ,” Lucy mutters, pacing over to the living room and back.  

“It’s good to see you, too, so nice of you to stop by,” Alex says, settling down across from Kara and opening the pizza box.  She and Kara both take a slice, and Alex raises an eyebrow at Kara, who turtles down into her sweatshirt and shoves half of a slice into her mouth.

“Not right now, Alex,” Lucy says tightly.  “Just-- this is serious, okay?”

“What is?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’ve got NASA, the DOD, and the entirety of the goddamned White House breathing down my neck because a team of American government agents decided to go on a stroll on another _planet_ without telling anyone and then destroy a potentially incredibly scientifically useful portal so that no one could ever use it again?”

“Oh.”  Alex picks a piece of pepperoni off her pizza and eats it separately, carefully looking at her pizza and not at Lucy.  “That.”

“Yes, _that_ ,” Lucy says sharply.  She rubs at her forehead and slumps down onto the stool next to Alex.  “Seriously, guys, you have to know--”

“It’s Kara’s fault,” Alex says with a shrug.  “We were just tracking her down.”

“Hey!” Kara glares from her side of the table.

“Don’t get me started,” Lucy mutters.  “I spend half of every day reassuring generals with their panties in a twist that of _course_ Supergirl is a reliable asset and then she decides to just bop off to another damn planet without telling anyone.  That’s a whole _other_ mess than the fact that you decided to take ten field agents and an untrained technician through an interplanetary portal.”

“We had to,” Alex says around a yawn.  “I mean, we had to go after her, seeing as she was tracking down victims of an alien slavery ring, all of whom were also American citizens.  She found them, and we were the cleanup team.”  She makes her way over to the counter where Kara keeps a collection of liquor bottles for her and returns with glasses and a bottle of Johnny Walker.  She offers one to Lucy, chin propped in her hand and eyebrows raised until Lucy sighs and accepts the drink.  “You’d have done it too, you know.”

“Yeah, well.”  Lucy drains the glass and takes the piece of pizza Alex had just claimed out of her hands.  “That doesn’t mean I’m not going to have to reschedule the next month’s worth of base visits to stay in DC and deal with this disaster.”

“It’s not a disaster,” Kara says indignantly.  “We saved almost fifty people!”

“You disappeared to another planet.”  Lucy holds up on pizza-greasy finger.  “You did so without providing notice to--”

“Mon-El was supposed to--”

“You did so and trusted a manchild with the logistical capabilities of a doorknob to cover for you,” Lucy amends, holding up another finger.  “You did so to a planet where you had no powers and could not protect yourself or anyone else.”  Three.  She turns to Alex.  “ _You_ took a team, an untested device, and an untrained asset to the same planet.”  Four.  “Through a door you didn’t know how to use from the other side.”  Five.  “Which you then destroyed instead of saving it for potential future us by NASA.”  Six.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Alex mutters.  “Can you just let us know what the damage is?  I’m too tired for this.”

Lucy groans and pours herself another healthy glass of whiskey.  “Well, I managed to convince the DOD not to forcibly fold the DEO into their purview and then shut it the hell down.  So.  You’re welcome for that.”

“They weren’t going to--” Alex starts, only to be interrupted by Kara loudly saying “Thank you!” and glaring at her.

“Thank you,” Alex mumbles.  “And I’m sorry for making shit more difficult for you.”

“Someone has to keep people off your back,” Lucy says quietly.  “But sometimes you guys _really_ don’t make it easy.”

“At least we’re charming and fun to make up for it?” Kara offers.  Alex points at her and nods, mouth full of pizza.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Lucy says, even as she smiles.  

“And on that note,” Alex says, yawning again.  “I’m heading out.  It’s late and I’m old.”

“I should, too,” Lucy says.  She stands from her stool and stretches.  “Early meetings.”

“And leave Kara with the cleanup, I see how it is,” Kara mumbles.  “Sure.  Why not.”

“I love you,” Alex says, kissing her cheek loudly.  “Next one is at my place, you can leave as much of a mess as you want.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Kara says sharply, even as she pulls Lucy into a hug.  “Can you ever just come to visit just to visit, please?”

“I’m working on it,” Lucy says into her shoulder, glancing at Alex and then away quickly.  Alex pulls in a slow breath and lets it out even more slowly; she busies her hands with closing up the pizza box and stacking dirty plates in the sink, checking her phone, adjusting the zipper on her jacket.

As Kara’s front door closes behind them, Alex coughs carefully and shoves her hands into her coat pocket, shoulders tight and stomach uncertain because she hasn’t seen Lucy in months and suddenly she’s _here_ and they’re very alone in the hallway.

“So,” Lucy says after a moment.  She starts a slow walk towards the stairs, slow enough to be hesitant, until Alex falls into step next to her.  “How are you?”

“Oh, you know,” Alex says with an exaggerated shrug.  “Breaking rules, wreaking interplanetary havoc, causing problems.  As you do.”

Lucy drives an elbow into her ribs, enough to make Alex laugh in spite of herself, and huffs out a sigh.

“You know I’m not really mad at you guys, right?” she says after they’ve walked down two flights of stairs silently.  “I just worry.”

“Yeah,” Alex says after a hesitation of her own.  She pauses by the door at the bottom of the stairwell and leans against the door, hands in her pockets.  “I get it.  But hey, if you’re only going to bounce into town when we make a mess, you gotta know I’m going to give you shit for it.”

“Just once don’t you think it would be nice if you guys tried to make my job easier?” Lucy props a shoulder against the wall next to Alex, slumping tiredly.  

“We’ll take it under advisement,” Alex says, rotating over onto her own shoulder to mirror Lucy’s posture.  “Are you rolling out again immediately or sticking around for a bit this time?”

“Actually,” Lucy says with a shrug.  “I cleared my schedule to deal with all of this for the last week and rescheduled my next few trips, so I’ve got some days to kill.”

“Shock and awe,” Alex drawls.  “Major Lucy Lane, staying in one place for more than sixteen hours?”

“You’re not funny.”  Lucy rolls her eyes, and Alex flashes a wide grin at her.

“Sure I am,” she says.  “It’s why you keep coming back here, obviously.”

Lucy clears her throat, glances down at her shoes.  “Actually,” she says again, enunciating carefully through each syllable.  “I did want to see if you wanted to get dinner while I was here.  Real dinner, not granola bars from the vending machine at the DEO.  Not that I don’t have the fondest of memories.”

“Oh,” Alex says, grin fading and stomach twisting around itself.  “I-- shit, Lucy,” she breathes out after a moment.

“It’s okay,” Lucy says quickly, smile pasted onto her face.  “Obviously it’s okay.”

“I just--” Alex starts.  She drops back against the wall, head slumping back, and stares at the ceiling for a moment.  She takes a slow breath in and speaks up to the ceiling carefully.  “I’m seeing someone.”

“Oh,” Lucy says, faint and quiet.  

“It’s new,” Alex rambles on, eyes screwed shut and jaw tight.  “Really new.  But she’s really great and--”

“Alex,” Lucy says softly.  “It’s okay.”  She straightens up from the wall and shrugs, slow, careful, shifting her weight from one foot to the other and back again.  “I always did tell you I have terrible timing.”

“Right,” Alex says, her throat tight.  She finally glances over at Lucy, jaw tight enough to make her teeth hurt.  “I’m sorry?”

Lucy shakes her head, pulling in a sharp breath.  “Don’t be.  Really.”  Something that resembles a smile crosses her face, and Alex’s teeth ache even more.  “You obviously don’t have to apologize for finding someone.  Absolutely not.”

“Right,” Alex mumbles.  She pulls the door to the stairwell open and makes her way out through the lobby to the sidewalk, holding the front door open for Lucy.  “Do you want to--”

“Probably not a good idea,” Lucy says, quick and careful.  “I’m just going to head back to the hotel--”

“Lucy,” Alex says.  It comes out like a crack and they both wince, and Alex rubs at her forehead and sighs.  “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Lucy says.  “Have a good one, yeah?”  Her smiles goes tight and she shoves her hands deep into her jacket pockets.  “I’ve got reports to work on anyways.”

“Yeah,” Alex says softly.  “Okay.”  Her shoulders tilt towards Lucy anyways, fingers flexing, before she pulls back and clears her throat.  “Good night.”  She nods, short and sharp, and spins on one heel, heading down the sidewalk at a brisk pace.

She looks back before rounding the street corner.  Lucy is leaning against the front of Kara’s building, shoulders dropped and eyes locked on her phone.  Alex grits her teeth and keeps walking, powering ahead of the uncertainty that had always hovered between her and Lucy Lane.

* * *

_v._

With the DEO base covered in dust and broken concrete, just like the rest of National City and a large portion of the west coast following the Daxamite invasion, Alex is back in her lab at the old desert base, dusting the equipment off and setting her team to work.  It’s been nearly two weeks and nearly every member of the DEO has been drowning in interrogations from mysterious federal agents determined to find someone to blame for the invasion, but there are still weapons to dismantle and reverse engineer, blood samples to review, and--

“Did you guys just completely abandon this entire base or something?”

\--and Lucy Lane, apparently, striding into Alex’s lab and dragging her fingertips along a dusty tabletop disdainfully.  Alex shakes her head, blinking rapidly, because she hasn’t heard a word from Lucy in months, yet her she is, squinting into one of the microscopes like she never left.

“I mean,” Alex says after a long moment.  “Who would ever just walk out on this place and then just sporadically show up in empty labs with no warning?  Imagine that.”

“Stick to science, Alexandra, comedy isn’t your strong suit.”  One side of Lucy’s mouth hitches up in a smirk.

“What are you doing here?”

“Good to see you, too,” Lucy says, rolling her eyes and settling delicately on a chair.

“I mean-- you know what I mean,” Alex says with a sigh.  “Sorry.  It’s been a long couple of days.”

“I heard,” Lucy says quietly.  “How are you?  Any news on your father?”

Alex shrugs and leans her forehead into one hand, chest heavy.  “Nothing at the moment.  He-- Kara is my priority right now, and recouping from--”

“I heard,” Lucy says again.  “I spoke to James.  He told me what happened.”

“She’ll be okay,” Alex says.  “Eventually.”  She pulls in a long breath and holds it.  “What _are_ you doing here, though?”

Lucy taps her fingers against her knee, not meeting Alex’s eyes.  “The president wanted an investigation.  Full analysis and debrief.”

“So you’re the mysterious figure who all of the assholes interrogating my agents for the last two weeks belong to?”

“Guilty.”  One of Lucy’s shoulders lifts, too casual for the crisp formality of her uniform.

“Lucy,” Alex says with a sigh.  “Why didn’t you just tell us?  I’d rather have talked to you than any of them.”

“Protocol,” Lucy says, mouth curling around the words distastefully.  “I wanted to have final say on the report, and my past interactions with the DEO gave me the clout to handle the investigation.  But I had to maintain a wall of separation between myself and the people we were investigating.  Just in case.”

“That sounds like code for me being in trouble,” Alex says.  One eyebrow arches up and Lucy clears her throat delicately.

“Not if I can help it.”  She pushes up to her feet and pulls a hefty binder out of her briefcase.  “The positron cannon wasn’t powerful enough to breach the Daxamite ship in orbit.  Even if you had fired before it was damaged, it wouldn’t have mattered.”

Lucy stares down at the report for a long moment before handing it to Alex.

“The final report,” she says.  “A no-fault finding on the part of the DEO and all associated agents and assets.”

Alex holds the report limply in both hands, blinking over at Lucy.  “There’s no-- you don’t know it wouldn’t have--”

“I don’t know that it would have,” Lucy says carefully.  “It’s difficult to ascertain if the state of a series of relays in the targeting mechanism were the result of the damage sustained or burnout from being pushed too hard for a target too far away.”

“Lucy,” Alex says.  “You can’t--”

“I already submitted it.”  Lucy snaps her briefcase shut and straightens her shoulders.  “I have to go, but I wanted to let you know that you’re in the clear.”

“Go?”

“Back to DC.  I have to formally present the report tomorrow morning.”

“Right,” Alex says with a sigh.  “Back to DC.  You could stay, you know.”

“Alex.”  Lucy’s voice is tight, her shoulders square.  “How’s your girlfriend?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Alex says sharply.  “I don’t mean-- you’re part of the DEO, whether you’re here or not.”

“Someone has to keep the bureaucrats off your back.” Lucy picks through the sentence carefully, posture unwavering even as she glares at some point past Alex’s ear.  “I’m most effective in DC.”

“Kara misses you,” Alex says.  It’s not what she meant to say, commentary on the understaffed DEO and the legal fallout from the invasion in National City, that Lucy doesn’t have to be a shield all on her own, dying in the back of her throat because her sister won’t get out of bed and Lucy always had a way of prodding Kara to action.

Lucy inhales slowly, looking up to the ceiling.  There’s a blackened spiderweb of cracks in the concrete spreading out from a hole from a Daxamite firearm.  Alex grips at the binder still in her hands, teeth grinding together.

“Make sure J’onn gets a look at that today,” Lucy says after a long silence, nodding towards the report.  “There will probably be people calling on it after I present tomorrow.”

“Lucy,” Alex says.  “Can’t you--”

“What, stay?  Upend my career yet again, move to National City with no job again, just _because_?”

Alex flinches back, fingers tightening on the binder.  “That’s not what I meant,” she says again.

“I have to go,” Lucy says shortly.  “I have a plane to catch.”

“Wait,” Alex says.  “I was going to say can you just _wait_ for a minute.”

“I have a plane to catch,” Lucy says again.

“I’m not bullshitting you,” Alex says, too loudly for the quiet of the lab, and they both flinch.  “Kara’s a _mess_ and you’re her friend.  You’re our friend.  I get why you left, but that doesn’t mean you have to just be gone all the time.  You can come visit for a weekend every now and then.  Especially when Kara’s boyfriend just got catapulted into orbit.”

“There are nearly eight hundred US military bases in the world,” Lucy says sharply.  “You know how many of them are prepared for something like what happened here?  Zero.  I have to--”

“It’s not you job to prepare the entire _world_ for an alien invasion, Lucy!”

“If I don’t, then who will?” Lucy throws back.  “Sure, there are plenty of people who _could_ do it.  James Harper?  Lillian Luthor?  My father?”

Alex’s mouth snaps shut, her shoulders slumping, and Lucy rubs at her forehead.

“This needs to be done, Alex,” Lucy says quietly.  “But it needs to be done in a way that will protect people like Kara, and J’onn, and Clark.”

“I know,” Alex says with a sigh.  She finally discards the binder, dropping it on a clear spot on her desk.  The laminate is creased from her grip.

“I have to go,” Lucy says once more.  “Make sure J’onn--”

“He’ll see it today,” Alex says.  She doesn’t move as Lucy checks the bindings on her suitcase and the buttons on her coat, takes a deep breath.

“I actually have a while until I have to leave,” Lucy says quietly.  “I know you have a lot of work to do.  Is it okay if I just--”

“Of course,” Alex says.  She gathers a messy stack of papers off one of the desks and sweeps it away, clearing a spot for Lucy to set her briefcase.

Another hour goes by in easy silence, Alex recording data and Lucy typing away quietly on her laptop, before Alex stands and stretches her neck out with a groan.  The clock on the wall reads just after seven and she groans and double checks her watch.

“Somewhere to be?” Lucy asks without looking up or pausing in her typing.

“Dinner plans.  We’re trying to keep Kara occupied.”

Lucy nods slowly, spine too stiff under her uniform.  “How is she?”

“As well as can be expected, I guess,” Alex says with a shrug.  “I can’t say I’m going to _miss_ Mon-El, but it’s still sad he’s gone, and Kara really cared about him.  So we’re having a game night.”

Lucy nods again, quietly shutting down her laptop and sliding it back into the briefcase.  A stack of folders follows it and she snaps the latches shut gently and pushes her way up to her feet, automatically straightening her uniform as she does.

“Take care, Alex,” Lucy says with something resembling a smile.  “Thanks for letting me stay here for a while.”

“At least stay in touch this time, will you?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Lucy says with something resembling a smile, just as Alex’s phone beeps.  It’s a text message from Maggie and Alex smiles without meaning to.

“Sorry, dinner logistics--” Alex says distractedly, sending off a response.  “When’s your flight?  You could come with, we’re picking up Chinese and going to Kara’s, you could meet Maggie--”

Lucy sucks in a loud breath and holds it, exhaling slowly before speaking again.  “You know I met her already, right?”  Her jaw tightens visibly.  “We had to include her in the investigation.”

“Oh,” Alex says after a moment.  “Okay.”

“She’s great,” Lucy says quietly.  “I can see why you like her.”

“Yeah,” Alex says, blinking slowly and smiling again.  “She is.”  She pushes a hand through her hair.  “So is that a yes?”

“I should go,” Lucy says, stiff and guarded.  “I have a car waiting.  Do you want a ride?”

“I rode over.”  Alex shrugs into her jacket almost apologetically.  She hefts her helmet in one hand and shuts down the lab equipment with the other.

“Right,” Lucy says.  “I never did get that KTM back, you know.”

“I still have it.”  Alex shrugs and zips up her jacket.  “Not my fault you left for DC.”  She slings her bag onto her back and tightens the strap.  “Are you sure you don’t want to come?  There’s gotta be another flight you can take later.”

“I’m sure,” Lucy says quietly.  She nods towards the door with her chin.  “I’ll shut things down on my way out.  You go ahead.”

“Okay,” Alex says after a long moment, shoulders tilting towards Lucy unintentionally.  “Have a good flight, Lucy.  Come visit sometime.”

“Bye, Alex,” Lucy says.  She busies herself with pulling her phone from her briefcase and calling for her driver, carefully not looking at Alex.

Alex waits, a handful seconds clicking by, before sighing and striding out of the lab.  She leaves the door to the lab open behind her, and the door to the parking garage, but there’s only the sharp echo of her own boots on the concrete floors the whole way.

* * *

 

_i never wanted to go home_   
_there was nothing there for me_   
_in a high rise on my own_   
_looking out in a mirrored balcony_   
_will there ever be a place for you and me?_


	2. Chapter 2

Fall in New York is cool and brisk, a marked contrast to the sunny warmth of National City, and Alex grumbles into her scarf as she steps out of the terminal at JFK.  It’s bad enough taking a redeye, but it just had to be a redeye that dumps her in New York on eight on a Monday morning in October, when car exhaust is crystallizing in the air and there’s still frost on the ground.

_ Frost _ . 

“This is bullshit,” Alex grumbles as she drops into the car waiting for her.   She rattles off the cross street for her hotel and sinks further into her coat.  She has to be at the UN at noon and all she really wants is a nap.  And maybe a nice, warm, sunny beach.

Halfway into the city, after she’s texted Kara and J’onn, Alex pauses before starting a new text message.

_ New york weather is garbage _ is all she sends before shoving her phone back into her pocket.  Lucy might text back, or she might not; it’s been almost two years since the last time they were in the same city and all she knows at this point is that Lucy’s left the military and relocated to New York, and she only knows that much because Kara and James spent Thanksgiving with Lois and Clark the year before.

_ We can’t all live in sunny California, you know _ pops up on her phone with a beep, followed a few seconds later with  _ You in town? _

Alex takes a deep breath before responding, glancing out at the flashes of Queens sliding by outside the car and the occasional glimpse of the Manhattan skyline. 

_ UN presentation.  J’onn won’t do it and i drew the short straw _

She stares down at her phone for a long second before sending the text, and then types out another and sends it before she can stop herself.

_ You still owe me a drink _

They’re across the bridge and descending into the midtown traffic before a reply comes through, and Alex huffs out a sharp breath before reading it.

_ Call me when you finish today _

Alex smiles down at her phone in spite of herself and shoots back  _ Will do _ .  She silences her phone and trades it for the enormous binder full of data she brought with her for her presentation, facts and figures and statistics.  She’s got four hours to finish prepping.

She spends three hours, instead, considering drinks with Lucy Lane, and stumbles through the first ten minutes of her presentation before finding her feet.  The whole ordeal drags on for hours, thirty minutes of compressed data she spoke on giving way to four hours of questions and contemplation; by the time she makes it out of the building and back to her hotel her feet are fried and back sore from standing in heels all afternoon.

There’s a bottle of whiskey in her room waiting for her-- J’onn’s way of making up for the fact that he dumped the entire weight of the alien refugee movement on her-- and she pours a healthy glass for herself and flops onto the bed.  She swallows half of it, takes a deep breath, and sends a text to Lucy.

_ Free and clear.  Drinks? _

She’s finished the glass and is sprawled across the bed when her phone dings again. 

_ Running late.  meet at my office? _

An address downtown follows, and Alex pours herself another glass and drains it before dragging herself up to standing. 

_ Works for me _

It takes her nearly an hour on the subway to get to Lucy’s office, a bland mid-sized skyscraper with a security team and metal detector in the front lobby.  Alex sidesteps both with a raised eyebrow and a flash of her badge.  She doesn’t even have a firearm on her, but the idea of being searched is offensive enough that she refuses on principle.

The receptionist who’s waiting for her when she steps off the elevator wears a sweater vest and glasses like any other millenial with a sociology BA in Manhattan, but stands with the presence and posture of a soldier, and leads her briskly past a series of offices and conference rooms.  He leaves her in the office with an apologetic, “Miss Lane will be here shortly,” shutting the door behind him.

Alex stands from the couch when the office door closes behind the receptionist and walks a slow circuit around the office, counting steps and browsing along the book titles.  She’s made it halfway around the walls lined with bookshelves when the door opens, and Alex turns to see Lucy, unwinding her scarf and smiling widely.  Her cheeks are red from the cold, her hair longer and vaguely windswept, and instead of a military dress uniform under her open coat, she’s wearing a crisp gray suit, the jacket and vest contrasting sharply against the blue of her shirt.  

“Well hey,” Alex says after a moment, licking at her lips and cursing her own inability to talk to pretty girls.  “Fancy meeting you here.”

“You’re not funny,” Lucy says, rolling her eyes and tossing her scarf onto the couch.  “Come on, give me a hug, jackass.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Alex says; she rounds the desk anyways and hugs Lucy anyways.  The bulk of Lucy’s coat interferes but Alex holds on anyways, arms around Lucy for a few beats longer than she’d really intended.  Wool scratches against Alex’s cheek, but she holds on tighter and pulls Lucy just a little bit closer for a short second before letting go. 

“So how was the UN?” Lucy pulls away and shrugs out of her coat, dropping it onto the couch as well and moving around the office easily, discarding folders and notepads neatly on her desk.

“Boring,” Alex says with a shrug.  

“I knew the DEO was developing a more public-facing arm and would be working with the UN, but I didn’t think you would be the one spearheading it.”  

“Oh, trust me,” Alex says, rolling her eyes.  “I’m really not.  But J’onn decided that he’d rather make me haul my ass out here than do it himself.”  She flicks at a corner of a file folder on Lucy’s desk with one finger, grinning when Lucy automatically straightens it back to its original position.  “What do you even do here?”

“I’m a lawyer,” Lucy says with a shrug of her own.  “I lawyer.”

“You’re not funny,” Alex parrots.  Lucy winks at her dramatically and slots her laptop into the docking station.  “I thought you were going to be career military, to be honest.”

“Yeah, well,” Lucy says with a sigh.  “I got frustrated with how the Army wanted to handle some things, so I left, started doing my own thing.”

“You started this firm?”  Alex gestures to the enormous windows and the large office.  “Seems to be pretty lucrative.”

“Consulting, technically,” Lucy says.  “Half of the people here aren’t even licensed to practice in New York.  Mostly policy consulting, some with civil rights group, mostly with the military, sometimes with both.”

“Consulting with the military?” One of Alex’s eyebrows raises, and she folds her arms over her chest.

“Not like that,” Lucy says, slumping back into her chair and gesturing vaguely in the air.  “I spent a while trying to help the military prep the existing infrastructure for dealing with alien threats, but I kept running into policy brick walls.  I mostly work on enacting policy shifts to address the complexities of alien refugee statuses.”

“Oh,” Alex says.  She clears her throat and shoves her hands into her jeans pockets. “Right.  That’s—really great.  Really.”

“I’m glad you approve,” Lucy says with an eyeroll.  “So, drinks?”

“Where to?” Alex picks up both of their coats, holding Lucy’s out to her and shoving her arms into her own.  “You’re the local.”

Lucy groans, buttoning her coat and shouldering her bag.  “I’m not even going to pretend to know what people do for fun here,” she says.  “I’ve only been here for a year and I pretty much just go to work and then go home.”

“Sounds exciting,” Alex says drily.  “And completely not helpful.”  She pulls the office door open and follows Lucy through.  “By the way, your security guards tried to search me.”

“Yeah, they do that,” Lucy says with a shrug.  “Had a few threats come through earlier this year, so.  Better safe than sorry.”

“Threats?”

“People still don’t like aliens.”  Lucy waves to the receptionist and hits the button for the elevator.  “Even before the Daxamite invasion, organizations like Cadmus had more public support than things like the Alien Amnesty Act.  We’re kind of a symbolic target for the conspiracy theorists.”

“Right,” Alex mutters.  “You know, you should really be working with us.  We’re always dealing with anti-alien organizations, and are probably more capable of providing protection than—”

“Davis, the receptionist?” Lucy interrupts.  “Two tours in Afghanistan.  The security guard in the lobby?  Special Forces.  The majority of the attorneys in the practice are former JAG, some of whom I served with.  You know I respect the DEO’s capabilities, but we don’t need your protection.”

“Always two steps ahead, aren’t you?”

“Someone has to be,” Lucy says with a smirk, following Alex out of the building.  “Okay, so, I know there are a few bars around here, but honestly they’re mostly full of finance people and I hate finance people.”

“Yelp?” Alex suggests.  “Or we could just pick something up and have a drink at your place.”

“Alex,” Lucy says softly, slowing to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk.  “I don’t think—”

Alex’s forehead creases and she blinks at Lucy slowly. “What?”

“I know there’s— _ something _ , there always has been,” Lucy rushes out.  “But that doesn’t mean we should—you’re with Maggie—”

“Lucy,” Alex says sharply.  “One: you’re not wrong, but that’s not why I suggested it.  I just hate people and spent all afternoon dealing with them, so I’d be more up for drinking box wine in an empty park in the snow than going to a bar right now.  And two….”  She pauses and takes a deep breath.  “Maggie and I broke up.  Months ago.”

“What?” Lucy says, eyes wide and jaw slack.  “What happened?”

Alex takes another deep breath and shrugs.  “I don’t know,” she mumbles.  “I mean, I do—it just wasn’t going to work, not forever, we disagreed about too many things.  It just took us a while to figure it out, I guess, because things were so crazy hectic when we started dating that we never talked about some things.”

“What things?” Lucy ventures, hands in her coat pockets but shoulders tilting closer to Alex. 

“Oh, you know, little things,” Alex says with a scoff. “Like Supergirl working with the police or government, or the DEO tracking down the Fort Rozz escapees.  Things like that.”

“Oh,” Lucy says.  She rocks back on her heels and lets out a low whistle.  “I had no idea.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s done,” Alex says, shrugging widely.  “It was a while ago, which you would have  _ known _ if you ever came to visit us or kept in touch—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Lucy says, elbowing Alex in the ribs and continuing back down the sidewalk.  “Until I left the Army I was spending every week at a different base, basically.  I didn’t even see my apartment in DC more than one or two days a month.”

“Sounds wondrous,” Alex drawls.

“Yeah, well,” Lucy says.  She rounds a corner and nudges Alex towards a set of doors.  “Do what you gotta do.”

“What’s this place?”  Alex slides through the rotating door, looking the doorman up and down appraisingly and shooting a glance back at Lucy.

“My apartment,” Lucy says, waving to the doorman. 

“You live a block from your office?”

“I told you,” Lucy says, leading Alex into the elevator.  “I work a lot.”

“Might as well just live in your office,” Alex mumbles.

“Sometimes I do,” Lucy says.  The elevator deposits them on the penultimate floor and she gestures grandly for Alex to lead the way, pointing her to the left down the hallway.  “Last one.”

“Swanky,” Alex says, turning around and walking backwards as she makes her way down the hall.  “I can see why you don’t want to come visit us plebeians in National City—”

“Har har,” Lucy says, punching at her shoulder and shoving her out of the way.  “Government contracts are idiotically lucrative when you’re the only one competing for them, and there aren’t any other firms even trying to do what we do, much less with our background—”

“Lucy,” Alex says, a hand on her arm.  “You deserve it.  You don’t have to justify a nice apartment to me.”

“Right,” Lucy says quietly as she unlocks the door.  “Force of habit.  My dad isn’t quite as accepting of the fact that I left the military.”

“Your dad’s an asshole.” Alex strides into the apartment and whistles.  “Okay, well,  _ now _ I’m judging you for working too much.  This place is ridiculous.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Lucy says, shutting the door behind her and flipping on the lights.  Alex wanders through the apartment, turning in a broad circle and taking in the enormous living room, the open kitchen. 

“That,” Alex says, pointing to the wall full of windows that open onto the balcony and a view straight up the entirety of Manhattan.  “Is bigger than my entire apartment.”

“Seems unlikely,” Lucy says.  She tugs on Alex’s coat, pulling it free from her arms while Alex keeps staring out at the balcony.  “Want a drink?”

“Yeah,” Alex says distractedly.  “Shit, Lane, this place is amazing.”

“I got lucky,” Lucy says with a shrug.  “What do you want?”

“Whiskey,” Alex says, finally turning back to face Lucy.  “If you have it.”

“There are takeout menus in the drawer by the sink,” Lucy says, pointing towards the kitchen. 

“Kara would love this,” Alex says, digging a stack of menus out and spreading them across the counter.  “She keeps trying to get me to move to somewhere with a larger balcony.”  She shuffles through the menus while Lucy pours the drinks, settling on an Indian menu and holding it up.

Lucy trades her a glass of whiskey for the menu.  “She should come out here sometime.”

“Good luck with that,” Alex says with a scoff.  “Try inviting her. She’ll just pout until you come to visit her instead and you know it.”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lucy says.  She takes a slow sip of her drink, staring down into the whiskey for long seconds before speaking again. “You do know that it’s not that I don’t want to visit, right?”

“Then what is it?” Alex sets her drink down and folds her arms over her chest.  “It’s been years, Lucy.  You came in and made friends with everyone and then just poof.  Gone.”

“I’m trying to—”

“Work, I know,” Alex says.  “You know I get it.  All I do is work.  And I know how important it is.  But you’re just  _ gone _ .  I’ve seen your sister more than I’ve seen you in the last few years and she doesn’t even like me.”

“Yeah, well, she’s a dumbass,” Lucy says with a scoff.  “I just want you to know that I’m not avoiding you guys.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve got a funny way of showing it,” Alex says.

“That’s not fair,” Lucy says tightly.  “What do you expect me to do?  Drop everything and come to game night once a week?”

“I don’t know, but not  _ this _ ,” Alex says.  “You’re our friend and you bounce in, clean shit up when alien invasions happen, save people from Cadmus, jet around the world prepping military bases or fixing policy bullshit to protect people like Kara, but you can’t even come spend a weekend hanging out with her or any of us?”

“That’s not fair,” Lucy says again.  She pulls in a long breath.  “I don’t know what you want me to do, Alex.  Every time we talk it’s like this.”

“I want you to be  _ there _ ,” Alex says with a sigh.  “With the DEO, with J’onn, with Kara and all of us.”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea,” Lucy says carefully.  “I’m most effective here, close to DC, without distractions.”

“Having friends and people who care about you isn’t a  _ distraction _ !”

“But you are,” Lucy says, soft and quiet.  “Always kind of have been.  I know you know that.”

“Dammit, Lucy,” Alex mutters.  She swallows the rest of her whiskey in one go and discards the glass, grabbing instead for Lucy’s jacket and kissing her, heavy and heated and impatient.  Lucy manages to drop her glass into the sink with a loud clatter, freeing up both hands to pull Alex closer, turning her around and pinning her against the countertop.

“We should talk about this,” she says against Alex’s mouth, fingertips tripping along the buttons of Alex’s shirt.

“Yeah,” Alex mumbles.  “Definitely.”  She yanks Lucy’s jacket off and fumbles with the buttons on her vest.

“Yep.  For sure,” Lucy says, one hand already pushing at Alex’s belt.

* * *

“So,” Lucy says, staring up at the ceiling.

“So,” Alex echoes, eyes half-closed.  Outside, the sun is rising and the light is pushing into the bedroom, soft on the clean lines of Lucy’s furniture and the clothes rumpled on the floor. 

“Now what?”  Lucy rolls over onto her side, propping her head on her hand and licking her lips at the bruises on the side of Alex’s neck, her collarbone. 

“I don’t fly out until this afternoon,” Alex says after a moment. 

“I can work from home for the day,” Lucy offers.  “Take you to the airport.”

“You have a car?”

“Well, no,” Lucy says with a shrug.  Her fingertips follow the line of Alex’s shoulder and down her arm.  Muscles twitch under her fingers and she smiles lazily.  “But I can get a driver.  And go with you.”

“Or,” Alex says, pushing on Lucy’s shoulder until she drops onto her back, hovering over her easily.  “You could buy a ticket and fly back to National City with me for a few days.  See Kara, see everyone.  Take some time off and just hang out.”

“Hanging out.”  Lucy’s hands slide up Alex’s arms and around her back, finding subtle lines of muscle and following them down either side of Alex’s spine.  “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

“Lucy,” Alex says quietly.  

“I have meetings every day the rest of this week—”

“Then come next week,” Alex challenges.  “Come on.  This doesn’t have to be this hard.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, though,” Lucy says.  She pulls her hands away and slides out from under Alex, standing from the bed and wrapping a sheet around herself.  “We both knew this --”

“Knew what?” Alex says sharply.  “One and done, no strings attached?  Get it out of your system and pretend it never happened?”

“Alex,” Lucy says, pushing the heels of her hands against her forehead.  “Please, you know that’s not what this was.”

“Then what was it?”  Alex sets to gathering her clothes, seeking out wayward socks and a discarded bra.  “Because that’s sure what it feels like.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucy says, dropping back down to sit on the bed.  “I just don’t know what to do from here.”

“Maybe what you do is just  _ try _ ,” Alex says quietly, arms full of clothes and shoulders slumped.   She drops her clothes back on the floor and sets to dressing, untangling shirtsleeves.  “Come on, Lucy.  We’re both adults here and it sure as hell has always felt like there was something here, before I ever met Maggie, since you first moved to National City.  I guess I thought that maybe the timing was finally right, but if it isn’t—”

“I don’t know,” Lucy says, even more quietly.  “I don’t know.”

“Right,” Alex says after a moment.  “Okay.”  Her belt buckle rattles as she pulls her jeans up, too loud in the silence.  She pushes a hand through her hair and takes a slow breath, turning in a circle in search of her shoes.  They’re still on the floor in the kitchen, and she shuffles out to find them.  Lucy doesn’t move from the bed, still clutching the sheet around herself.

Alex makes her way back into the bedroom, shoes on and coat in hand, and slows to a stop halfway between the bedroom door and the bed.

“I’m going to go,” she says quietly.  “Take care, Lucy.” 

She waits, for long seconds, for Lucy to move or speak, for her to stop Alex from leaving, for anything, but nothing comes and she finally just turns and leaves.  Her coat settles heavily onto her shoulders, collar rubbing against the bruised skin on her neck with each step on the walk back to her hotel.

Three hours pass once she makes it back to her room, and she passes the time with catching up on emails, dancing around any substantive conversation with Kara, going to the gym, showering; regardless of how busy she keeps herself, Alex still checks her phone every twenty minutes to see if Lucy called or texted.

There’s nothing from Lucy, and Alex packs her suitcase back up and takes a taxi to the airport.  She’ll be early for her flight, but airports are at least busy enough to distract her from the fact that now she knows what Lucy tastes like, how she moves, what it’s like to wake up next to her after years of bad timing and near misses.  All that, and nothing more to look forward to.

Alex has an hour and a half until boarding to kill.  She bypasses the coffee shops and parks her suitcase at a bar.  It’s barely past one but she orders a whiskey anyways and stares moodily down into it. 

Her phone dings with a text from Kara, and she glances down at it. 

_ Btw did you see lucy?  Forgot to mention it, idk if you remembered she moved to nyc _

Alex snorts and throws back the rest of her drink.  As if she’d likely have forgotten that she and Lucy Lane were going to be in the same city for the first time in two years.

The bar stool next to hers scrapes out, and Alex glares straight ahead, flagging the bartender down for another drink.  “Seat’s taken,” she mutters.

“Don’t suppose you can make an exception, can you?”

Alex chokes on her sip of whiskey, wiping at her mouth and turning wide-eyed to where Lucy is standing.  There’s an overnight bag sitting by her feet, and her hands are wrung together, clasped too tight in front of her.  She clears her throat and nods to the barstool, waiting until Alex nods to take a seat.

“What are you doing here?”  Alex says hoarsely, throat raw from choking on whiskey and eyes watering. 

“Grand romantic gesture?” Lucy offers.  She waves to the bartender and points to Alex’s whiskey.  Alex stares at her, blinking rapidly, as Lucy waits until she has a drink in front of her and has drained half of it and taken a deep breath before speaking again.  “I owe you an apology.”

“You do?” Alex says dumbly.

“For making you think that last night was just some one-off thing for me, for starters,” Lucy says.  She throws back the rest of her drink and lets out a slow breath. “For not staying in touch the last few years.  And for not asking you to stay this morning.”

“Oh” Alex says, shaking her head and rubbing at her forehead because she’s sitting in a bar in the Delta terminal at JFK next to Lucy Lane, tipsy at one in the afternoon after spending the night in Lucy’s bed and leaving alone.  “I—what?”

Lucy pulls in another deep breath, turning on her barstool to face Alex.  The denim over her knees brushes against the denim covering Alex’s thigh and Alex inhales sharply.  Her breath catches uncomfortably behind her sternum when Lucy reaches out with one hand, fingertips following the sharp lines of muscle and bone in Alex’s wrist and hand.

“I can’t move out of New York,” Lucy says slowly.  “Not right now.  My firm is based here and so is most of our work.  But I want to try.  With you.  If you want to.”

“If I want to,” Alex echoes.  She stares down at Lucy’s hand covering her, blinking up to where Lucy’s watching her and biting down obviously on the inside of her cheek.  “If I want to try…dating?”

“Yes,” Lucy says, short and definitive.  “Dating.  Me.  Dating me, long distance, because we both have work and it’s important work and I don’t think either of us will ever give it up, but I really want to try this with you, Alex, I always have, because you’re kind of amazing and I’m incredibly into you and—”

“Okay.”  Alex cuts into Lucy’s sudden ramble, turning her hand over and pushing her fingers between Lucy’s.  “Okay.”

“Okay?” Lucy smiles, slow and wide and hesitant, and Alex nods and offers a smile of her own.

“Yeah,” Alex says.  She pulls her hand free and pulls gently on the edge of Lucy’s coat, leaning forward and kissing her.  It’s different than the night before, unhurried and unconcerned, and tension leaks out of Alex’s body with each breath.  “What changed your mind?”

Lucy shrugs with one shoulder, one hand still hooked behind Alex’s neck.  Her fingers move absently against the back of Alex’s head, buried in her hair, and Alex’s eyes start to slip shut under the movement, the whiskey, the weight of Lucy at her side and following her home to start something new.

“I guess I was never really as interested in someone as I was in my work,” she says after a long moment.   “To the point where it didn’t really compute for me that I was as interested in you as I am work.  Even with James, when everything felt right, it didn’t feel as important, I think.”

She pulls her hand away from the back of Alex’s head and shrugs once more. 

“It still took me a long time to figure out that what I was interested in with you wasn’t just hooking up or something casual.”  She takes a definitive breath and lets it out sharply.  “Maybe I just needed lucky timing and someone like you so I could figure it out.”

“Maybe,” Alex says slowly, one side of her mouth hitching up into a smirk.  “Maybe I’m just  _ that _ good in bed.”

Her phone dings with a text message, dragging Alex’s attention away from Lucy’s scoff.  It’s another text from Kara.

_ Answer me butthead _

Alex rolls her eyes and opens the camera on her phone, leaning over to kiss Lucy briefly and snap a picture. 

“What are you—”

“Kara asked if I had time to see you while I was here,” Alex says with a shrug.  She hits send with a flourish.  “I figured I should let her know that you pulled a romcom and followed me to the airport with a ticket for my flight.”

Lucy elbows her in the ribs and rolls her eyes, flagging down the bartender for another round of drinks.  “How long are you going to make fun of me for that?”

“At  _ least _ six months,” Alex deadpans.  “Learn to live with it, hot stuff.”

“Fair enough,” Lucy says with a sigh, reaching for Alex’s hand once more and sliding their fingers together.  “Suppose I can do that.”

She glances up at the clock behind the bar and then at the freshly printed boarding pass sticking out of the outside pocket of her bag.  She digs a stack of bills out and leaves it on the bar, dragging Alex off the stool behind her. 

“What—”

“We have thirty seven minutes until boarding,” Lucy says without looking back, hand tight around Alex’s. “I have status with Delta and know all the sneaky hidden spots in the platinum lounge.  Hurry it up.”

The barely make it to the flight in time to board, and Alex has sixteen text messages and four missed calls from Kara.  She has time to send one response back before having to turn her phone off.

_ Boarded.  We’ll be home for dinner _

* * *

 

_where i've been_   
_i was bound to leave behind_   
_all device and all disease was mine_   
_i'm speeding out of reach_   
_you're the one i had to meet_


End file.
